To the man who thinks I am lucky to have him…that I should take whatever I can get because I have “baggage”…no thanks, you can stay on the shelf and wait for someone else (my guess is you’ll end up on clearance!). P.S. Kids are not baggage. They are human beings just like you only they are apparently a whole lot smarter than you.

To the man that is broke, has no job, no car and a truckload full of excuses, no offense, but you are not ready to date anyone, INCLUDING me.

To the man that has a six-figure income and luxury car, but no heart, no values, or no free time, I deserve better. My kids deserve better.

To the man that is 20 to 30 years older than me that thinks I would be lucky to have him because I MUST be desperate and he might get lucky, I deserve better. Did you want to date someone in their 50s or 60s when you were in your 30s? I didn’t think so.

To the man who is in a miserable relationship, but does not have the courage to leave his “sure thing” don’t bother. If she stays with you, you’re both right where you belong. On that note, to the man that thinks I would make a great “side piece” and somehow it would help me out because I am lonely, I deserve better.

To the man that thinks because I am nice, I will take anyone, I deserve better.

To the man who wants to approach me for disrespectful self-interests, but is thoughtful enough not to out of respect for my late husband, his service, or his sacrifice, think again. You are not doing me any favors. You did not stand a chance anyway because to have a chance you would need to respect me, not just my late husband.

To the man that genuinely respects me and is interested in me, but thinks he cannot live up to the legacy of my late husband, think again. You will not live in his shadow. You do not have to share me with him. You are two different men living two different lives with me at different times. Your merit, values, experiences and authenticity stand alone. Do not let the comparison trap allow my past to limit your future.

To the single man that works hard, seeks adventure, lives courageously and responsibly, has a sense of purpose, believes in a life of service, and may possibly think I am too good for him for whatever crazy reason, I want you to know that your humility is one of your most endearing qualities.

Love always,

Nikola Rosa