A lot of times we look at other people and they look seemingly perfect. Either they look perfect themselves or they look like they have the perfect lives, or they look like they handle life’s challenges perfectly; or worse, they look like they do not have the life challenges we seem to face.

They are not perfect, of course, and often they are not even trying to look perfect. They are not trying to act as if they have perfect, trouble-free lives. They are just sharing their good times with gratitude; just sharing a bit of themselves or their life. They are not sharing the whole picture because, really, who has the time? Life is a mess for most of us, full of layers; some hard, some good.

What we choose to share has a profound effect on us. When we share positive, gratitude, and the good: goodness grows. We are not denying the hard or the bad; we are just not focusing on it. Why? Because what you focus on grows and goodness knows we need more of it!

When someone shares the bad and the hard, that is okay. There is nothing wrong with that either. We all need to vent somewhere or to someone. It is a personal choice at the end of the day: what helps you grow stronger or feel better. The important thing is to recognize that it is all a matter of two things: Perspective and choice.

The one who vents about the bad does not have a harder life or more imperfection than the person who shares the good and the highlights. One is not more perfect than the other. One is not being fake and the other real. There are just two sides to every coin and you have a choice which side to look at; and that choice has a direct impact on your day.

When we look at someone and think they are perfect or have perfect lives, we just see them that way because the truth is, we are not really looking. It is like an illusion; a magic trick. We don’t really want to know their hard because we have enough of it on our plates already.

Also, we are distracted by our own imperfections. The sad irony is they are too. They do not think they are perfect and they KNOW their lives are not perfect. I am starting to think this is a universal condition.

If we talked to them heart to heart, I think we would find in most cases that we feel the same way. We are all perfectly imperfect. We all struggle. There are two sides to every coin; to every life.

Zooming in on the joy during (and despite) the struggle,

Nikola Rosa