I choose me.
What does it feel like?
To love yourself.
To choose you.
When your whole life you were taught
to love everyone else?
I look in the mirror.
How did my self get so tattered and worn?
To let my soul go,
Become so weary and forlorn.
I thought of the lessons of long ago.
Why does this likeness hurt so much?
The Velveteen Rabbit.
The Giving Tree.
Beautiful stories my heart could touch.
These were the stories that resonated with me.
I neglected my self and abandoned my heart.
How do I resolve the betrayal;
This is the hardest part.
This is where the rubber meets the road.
Connection and care is the place to start.
I hear her voice now,
She is inside of me.
She always was,
But now she is free.
I take the time to get quiet and listen as she shouts,
She begs for nourishment,
She yanks on my arms.
Anxious for attachment,
Hungry for attention,
I never watered her before,
She is hesitant to trust my affection.
I give her water and I drink it.
The girl I am watering is me.
Like a plant lost seeking sunlight,
Afraid of the dark,
But now the sunlight streams in,
And at the water there is a sigh of relief.
The girl is far from comfortable,
Far from grown.
This will be a long process,
But for the first time she feels hope.
